Happy Birthday

Yesterday there was a birthday. On the b-day person's desk, I couldn't help but see the long-stemmed yellow roses and another another bouquet, the cards, the cupcakes, and of course the balloons. My initial feeling was one of pain-filled longing followed by envy. Enter the "Victim" ...I caught myself identifying with my feeling. I found myself thinking about how lucky she is and how un-lucky i am and how i should be the one valued and how much i try and help - grosssss! Recovery calls this stinkin' thinkin' and it smells to high heaven!

In other words my pain body was identifying with my ego and it became a circle-jerk with endless directions, all of them negative, downward and guaranteed to be self-destructive.

Then the strangest thing happened. I took out my bookmark i made from A New Earth and read it -

THE PROCESS

• FOCUS ATTENTION on the feeling inside you.
• KNOW it is the Pain-Body.
• ACCEPT it is there
• DON’T THINK ABOUT IT—don’t let the feeling turn into thinking.
• DON’T JUDGE or ANALYZE.
• DON’T IDENTIFY with it
• STAY PRESENT & CONTINUE TO BE THE OBSERVER of what is happening inside of you.
• BECOME AWARE not only of the emotional pain but also BE AWARE of the one who observes – the silent watcher.

THIS IS THE POWER OF THE NOW.

Along with applying the above, i added something just as powerful - i wished the b-day person...ok, this has to be a girl, right - i mean do you give a guy long-stemmed roses?? I don't think so!...blessings all day long. I actually wrote an email saying happy b-day and wishing them well. OMG - this is growth to the extreme!!! I couldn't have done this 3 months ago.

IT'S TRUE - it doesn't really matter whether or not i mean it, i mean that i want to mean it. I mean that i'm a good person and i want JOY (my fav word!) for everyone - why? Because what i put out 'there' comes back to me!! Yes - IT'S TRUE.

RESULTS:

Surprise - a vendor brought in big, huge, decadently delicious cookies and i got to pick the first one ((^_^))

My attitude all day was light and happy. Wow!

I connected with everyone with a lightness and joy that was evident.

THIS IS LIVING IN THE PRESENT...and i'm loving it!