Wow - really? 4 years??!! Yes, 4 years since i've blogged, putting virtual pen to virtual paper and laying down my thoughts. Why does it take 4 years to 'get' it? I read my last post and up until July 2014 - i was still in the same toxic relationship that Brad was talking about. 4 YEARS!!!!! And i call myself reasonably sane. Craaazy!
And then today i read a blog by Shellie Couch wherein partly she posts "We connect to others, in a real and
meaningful way, when we allow others to see our light in its full glory and it
is reciprocated by the other person also allowing us to see their light in all
its magnificence." & I get it!!!
http://www.practicelivingjoy.com/2014/10/letting-my-light-shine.html
Just last Monday i met a new 'possibility' and yes, i attempted to shine as brightly as i could, as i thought HE might like to see. At 64 years young, I am better, i don't think i'm desperate, insecure, needy any longer ... still there's that tiniest desire for approval...is this a bad thing? It's not approval-seeking like it was ... just maybe a desire to connect.
Anyway, he acted as if he approved and said by text he was 'impressed' and then nothing. Silence. After 24 hours i spotted him back online & I queried - you okay? what happened?? He said we were more 'friends' than perspective 'lovers' and he was continuing his search. Of course i felt let down. I was thinking there could be something here...perhaps with a little time, there seemed to be so much promise. There i go, trying to make lemonade ...did he see my light? Or was he busy flying down life's freeway in his 'Vette watching everyone looking at him?
So - with this new inSIGHT, new vision, a cleaner, clearer vision of shining MY light in its full glory --i'm gonna relax, sit back, let my light shine bright and BE ME. I'm not going to pretzel and/or manipulate - i'm NOT going to waste 4 more years!!!
XO
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